Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Choose LOVE, not fear

For about the last four years I have had the personal mantra, "Choose LOVE, not fear."  This mantra came to me from my personal guru and husband early in our relationship.  In fact, this mantra is what made me take the daring leap of loving him and ultimately marrying him.  What's more, this shift of choosing LOVE, not fear has lead me to experience more joy, LOVE and satisfaction than I have felt in a long time.

LOVE sounds innocent but it can cause all your fears to become blatantly clear.  Four years ago, I was faced with the choice of allowing myself to become vulnerable enough to open my heart, let down my guard and LOVE or choosing to turn my back on LOVE out of fear of getting hurt. 

The reason I had so much fear about LOVE was because of the pain I felt when I lost my father to pancreatic cancer at the age of 8.  At the time, I didn't know that most little girls' fathers would be there to protect them from boys when they were a teenager, cheer for them at track meets, watch them graduate from law school, and dance with them on their wedding day.  All I knew was that I LOVE my dad, I missed him and I would never see him again.  As a result, I took from the experience that people you LOVE will leave and that when they leave it will hurt.  Therefore, by the time I started dating, I believe I had unconsciously made a deal with myself to never allow myself to be hurt again. So, out of fear, I protected myself from LOVING another person.

That "worked" for a very long time.  But, when I met my husband, my unconscious decision to choose fear became apparent when I found that as my LOVE for him grew, my desire to leave the relationship also grew.  He noticed this and confronted me about it.  At that point, I was presented with the opportunity to make a conscious decision to choose LOVE.  Choosing LOVE meant letting down my guard and allowing myself to be vulnerable enough to share my true self and fully give LOVE to another person.  My decision to choose LOVE in my relationship with my husband has led me to experience more LOVE and joy every day.

After making this decision in my romantic life, I have tried to look at other areas in my life where I can choose LOVE, not fear.  These opportunities arose in areas of my career and relationships with friends and family.  For example, whenever I consider teaching yoga at a new location I am faced with fear of rejection from the owners of the studio or the yoga students but rather than allowing that fear to stop me from sharing my LOVE for yoga with others, I choose to focus on my desire to share my LOVE and allow that desire for LOVE to be the impulse for my act of expansion rather than allowing my fear of rejection to restrain me.  Its not always easy, but it's definitely rewarding. 

Where are you holding yourself back out of fear?  Do you feel a calling to expand your business but you are waiting because of fear?  Are you staying at your job because you are afraid to try something new?  Are you afraid to get into a relationship because you are afraid you will be hurt?  Are you rushing into a relationship because you are afraid to be alone?  All these questions invite you to make the conscious decision of choosing LOVE

Each time you have an idea or you are faced with a decision, you are given an opportunity to decide to act out of LOVE.  In order to do this, you must look to the underlying motivation behind your two choices and choose what you would do from LOVE.

I read a beautiful message on Facebook about LOVE and fear today from Celebrating The New Man - Zorba the Buddha.  The message defined fear as the absence of LOVE, just as darkness is the absence of light.  Therefore, the best way to overcome fear is to LOVE, just as the best way to get rid of darkness is to bring light.  So as you are faced with more and more opportunities to consciously choose LOVE, remember that each time you choose LOVE, it becomes easier to choose LOVE again.  It also results in fear naturally devolving away so that all that remains is the cleansing light of LOVE.

See LOVEChoose LOVE.    Be LOVE!